I've seen a couple posts floating around about people picking words to be a theme for their year. I was particularly inspired by this post by Erin. I began to think what sort of word or phrase I would want, but kept coming back to other ones that I had already seen people choose for themselves. I didn't want to be a copycat (that's still a term I use regularly) so I kept thinking, trying to find something that I felt like I was being called to.
I wanted a pretty word, something exciting, something that actually could capture what I wanted for 2014. I wanted something that would be pretty to blog about, something that would seem glamorous. I'm so flawed, my friends. I wanted to impress you, and that what was shaping my word search.
The word that was pressed upon my heart after genuine thought and prayer was not a word that I had considered, but the more I think about it, it is exactly what the Lord is calling me to and what needs to shape my 2014:
Obedience.
Oh my. I am such a silly creature. I wanted something impressive and pretty but what God gave me was the opposite of what my heart wanted, yet somehow exactly what I need. I need (and what I know my soul craves) is obedience... obedience to my Creator.
Pastor Chris Brown says, "Obedience is the highest form of worship" and I agree with him wholeheartedly. When I am being obedient to what God is calling me to do, that is when I am worshipping Him most and honoring Him. When I decide to do what I want, regardless of the consequences, I am disobeying. Luckily, my God has an infinite supply of grace. Thank goodness because if there were any sort of cap on grace for the world, it would be all used on me because I am so flawed.
This year I am going to be obedient, to go where God calls me, and do what I know He is asking of me. I know that I will fail many times, but hopefully I get there in the end.
Did you pick a word or theme for the year?
I've been thinking about the whole concept of guarding my heart lately. Our hearts are such tender things, they are so sweet and delicate. They are capable of loving in a way that seems infinite but pales in comparison to the way that our Lord loves us.
I have younger sisters that are like babies to me. I was nine when they were born. There's always been a bond between myself and them that's been equal parts sister and momma bear. They've also sort of developed into my 'test.' I sometimes gauge the things I think, say, and do of whether or not I would want them to mirror my behaviors. If the answer is no, I try my darndest to cease what I'm doing. My biggest prayer for those girls is that their heart would never know brokenness or bitterness, that their hearts would always be as beautiful and full as they are now.
In this world, there are so many entities that will try to take little pieces of your heart under the guise of being harmless. There are boys who will woo you and say beautiful words that will make you feel special. They can sometimes ask you to do things you aren't comfortable with, but you'll want to do it because they want to. You'll want to keep those beautiful words flowing so you'll say yes. Then, after a little bit of time, your heart will begin to hurt. You'll realize that you gave a piece of your heart to someone who didn't want (or deserve) the entire thing.
There are things that you can do that you know you shouldn't- things that you wouldn't do if your momma was around and surely wouldn't want your little sisters to know about. They are the things you spend endless amounts of time justifying because you are desperately trying to convince yourself that it's okay. Those things you do in hiding, those things take pieces of your heart too.
There are people you surround yourself with, people who don't make you want to be a better person. They are people who don't emulate the fruits of the spirit and don't care if you do either. The people you surround yourself with have this funny way of rubbing off on you. You begin to say their words, take their tone, and act like them. This is a wonderful thing if you surround yourself with good people, but this is a dangerous thing when you surround yourself with people with a lackluster character. When you cheapen yourself into not being who you were created to be, you give little pieces of your heart to the people that you allow to be an influence upon yourself.
My heart hasn't been completely whole lately. I've done things I'm not proud of and given my heart to things & people who are undeserving. The goodness of God's grace is that it's never too late. It's never too late to reclaim your heart, to stand for more, and to be whole in Him.
In this new year, I resolve to be more careful with my heart. To not give it so freely, to let it love and be loved, but to guard it, and not in a way that shields it from the natural parts of life, but in a way that empowers me to live in the way I should.
