I was a little intimidated and apprehensive to say yes to the trip because I was nervous that it would be too much. I am such a weirdo, I know. I don't even own a sleeping bag, so I knew I'd have to borrow everything. I didn't want anyone to notice that I was out of my comfort zone. I was afraid to say yes to what turned out to be a really wonderful and beautiful weekend because of fears that didn't even come true. I hate the paranoia that can sometimes keep me too fearful to live life well. I'm working on saying yes to thing before fear gets the best of me.
On Friday, I headed an hour out of Boise and met up with my pals. I was instantly taken aback by the beauty of my surroundings. Lucky Peak is a reservoir right outside of Boise and we were able to secure our little own camping area with a private dock. It was magical. We loaded up our belongings in Chad's sailboat and sailed across the reservoir to our little home.
I think one of my favorite things about the weekend was that there was no cell phone service. Any usage of a cell phone was solely for the purpose of taking pictures. This weekend was an exercise in being present. It's so easy to be with others while being in a different world completely. I find myself more concerned with my phone instead of the person in front of me. This weekend contained none of that. When someone talked, others listened. There was no checking your email, being simultaneously on instagram, or texting someone else. We were present with one another in the way that we have always been intended to be.
There were some great leisurely moments spent on the sail boat, with the sun on your face and the water beneath you. Even after I got back last night, I still felt like my bed was rocking me to sleep. It was wonderful. I'm a water girl. Much of my childhood was spent in the water and a significant portion of that time, I spent pretending to be a mermaid. Being in a landlocked state, I get serious emoji heart eyes whenever I'm near water.
Another fear that I had with saying yes to the trip was knowing that saying yes meant agreeing to spend time in a bathing suit in front of my friends. Bathing suits and I have a really long history of not getting along. We are like North and South Korea. I'm obviously South Korea and bathing suits are definitely North Korea. I love being in the water and being near it, but ironically, I'm always afraid of being in a bathing suit. One of the first things my friends did was get on their bathing suits and jump off the dock into the reservoir. I made excuses for why I wasn't out there as well. I realized that not participating in that activity was just so foolish. It was hotter than hades outside and not jumping into the reservoir was just foolish. My friend Diana and I counted to three and jumped in together, as I shouted "TOWANDA!" in my head. If you know what that is from, we are soup snakes. If you know what THAT is from, we are DOUBLE soul mates. After taking the plunge and catching my breath, I decided that some things were going to be different. I wasn't going to be afraid of my body or ashamed of it. I wasn't going to allow it to restrict me from doing the things that I wanted to do. I wasn't going to spend the weekend worrying about how I looked in a swimsuit or what other people thought of me. Frankly, that's a little vain and I needed to get over myself. No one was thinking about me quit as often as I assumed they were.
Jumping in and taking the plunge was refreshing, both physically and spiritually. This weekend and the quiet moments I was able to steal for myself provided great thinking time of where I am and where I'm going. I'm learning to slow down, to invest in those around me, and to cast away the fear that I sometimes allow to cripple me.
I'm grateful for these friends and this experience. I'm grateful for them teaching me, listening to me, and loving me in spite of myself. I'm grateful for the water, the sun, but not the snake that we saw in the outhouse. That thing gets no gratitude from me. I'm so grateful for the concept of community and this little one in a small town in Idaho that has welcomed me with open arms. I'm grateful for friends taking the plunge with you, even when they aren't entirely aware of what it represents for you. And I'm especially grateful for no cell phone service, corn hole tournaments, and sail boats.
How fun! Sounds like an awesome weekend.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have the SAME relationship with a bathing suit. Hate it to death, but the perspective that you gained is one I admire. It's hard to not let those thoughts overcome you, but you did it!
My version of camping is totally like yours, except James would tots judge me if I brought my air-mattress, so I just try to eat so many s'mores that I fall into a coma at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteAlso, South Korea FOREVER. Why can't we just go back to bathing costumes?
(Fried Green Tomatoes and The Office.)