sail camp & lessons learned from taking the plunge

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to go camping with twenty of my friends. Camping has been a really big part of my life, for like ever, although my camping looks different than a lot of other people's versions of camping. I grew up attending a camp in the Big Bear Mountains where we learned to identify plants, memorized the stories behind constellations, took lessons in archery, and other peculiar activities for a nine year old girl to participate in. My family also camps in Mexico every year, but we bring air mattresses, eat lobster and spaghetti, and have the options of showers. That is not your average person's camping experience, but it's definitely the Novello way.

I was a little intimidated and apprehensive to say yes to the trip because I was nervous that it would be too much. I am such a weirdo, I know. I don't even own a sleeping bag, so I knew I'd have to borrow everything. I didn't want anyone to notice that I was out of my comfort zone. I was afraid to say yes to what turned out to be a really wonderful and beautiful weekend because of fears that didn't even come true. I hate the paranoia that can sometimes keep me too fearful to live life well. I'm working on saying yes to thing before fear gets the best of me.

On Friday, I headed an hour out of Boise and met up with my pals. I was instantly taken aback by the beauty of my surroundings. Lucky Peak is a reservoir right outside of Boise and we were able to secure our little own camping area with a private dock. It was magical. We loaded up our belongings in Chad's sailboat and sailed across the reservoir to our little home.

I think one of my favorite things about the weekend was that there was no cell phone service. Any usage of a cell phone was solely for the purpose of taking pictures. This weekend was an exercise in being present. It's so easy to be with others while being in a different world completely. I find myself more concerned with my phone instead of the person in front of me. This weekend contained none of that. When someone talked, others listened. There was no checking your email, being simultaneously on instagram, or texting someone else. We were present with one another in the way that we have always been intended to be. 

There were some great leisurely moments spent on the sail boat, with the sun on your face and the water beneath you. Even after I got back last night, I still felt like my bed was rocking me to sleep. It was wonderful. I'm a water girl. Much of my childhood was spent in the water and a significant portion of that time, I spent pretending to be a mermaid. Being in a landlocked state, I get serious emoji heart eyes whenever I'm near water. 

Another fear that I had with saying yes to the trip was knowing that saying yes meant agreeing to spend time in a bathing suit in front of my friends. Bathing suits and I have a really long history of not getting along. We are like North and South Korea. I'm obviously South Korea and bathing suits are definitely North Korea. I love being in the water and being near it, but ironically, I'm always afraid of being in a bathing suit. One of the first things my friends did was get on their bathing suits and jump off the dock into the reservoir. I made excuses for why I wasn't out there as well. I realized that not participating in that activity was just so foolish. It was hotter than hades outside and not jumping into the reservoir was just foolish. My friend Diana and I counted to three and jumped in together, as I shouted "TOWANDA!" in my head. If you know what that is from, we are soup snakes. If you know what THAT is from, we are DOUBLE soul mates. After taking the plunge and catching my breath, I decided that some things were going to be different. I wasn't going to be afraid of my body or ashamed of it. I wasn't going to allow it to restrict me from doing the things that I wanted to do. I wasn't going to spend the weekend worrying about how I looked in a swimsuit or what other people thought of me. Frankly, that's a little vain and I needed to get over myself. No one was thinking about me quit as often as I assumed they were. 

Jumping in and taking the plunge was refreshing, both physically and spiritually. This weekend and the quiet moments I was able to steal for myself provided great thinking time of where I am and where I'm going. I'm learning to slow down, to invest in those around me, and to cast away the fear that I sometimes allow to cripple me. 

I'm grateful for these friends and this experience. I'm grateful for them teaching me, listening to me, and loving me in spite of myself. I'm grateful for the water, the sun, but not the snake that we saw in the outhouse. That thing gets no gratitude from me. I'm so grateful for the concept of community and this little one in a small town in Idaho that has welcomed me with open arms. I'm grateful for friends taking the plunge with you, even when they aren't entirely aware of what it represents for you. And I'm especially grateful for no cell phone service, corn hole tournaments, and sail boats. 

lets go to san diego, hey that's where all the kids go

This past week, I had the opportunity to travel to San Diego for a conference. This, to me, was the best case scenario. I'm getting to travel somewhere beautiful for a conference that also just happens to be the place I lived for twenty one years. My boss allowed me to book my ticket out a couple days early so that I could spend a little bit of time with my family before heading down south for our conference.  I'm always grateful to go home. I don't think I appreciated how beautiful and special my hometown was until I was gone. I had lived there my entire life and was ready to spread my wings. I was ready to grow up, find a new place, and figure out who I was. I'm so blessed to be where I am now, I'm very content in Idaho, but man, the ocean? I can't believe that I saw that almost every single day. I just stared at it when I went to the beach with my sisters. I couldn't get over how vast and expansive it is. I surely was spoiled by that view and I'm glad to get to return to it several times a year.

One thing that's peculiar about returning "home" is that my real home, where I lay my head, is a different place than where I grew up. California definitely feels like home, but the type of home that you don't live in anymore. Maybe it's like seeing the house you grew up in, realizing it's not yours anymore, but cherishing the time that you spent in that place and being grateful to it for helping to raise you. I don't have a room in my parents house anymore. That's understandable. I haven't lived there for over five years, but it's weird to return to stay with them and be in the guest room. I am a guest within my own home. That's a strange place to be.  None of what I've said so far is really what I intended to say in this post, I think I'm just processing through some things so bear with me. Let's get down to brass tactics, as my father would say. Can I just say that one thing I absolutely adore about my father is his ability to butcher the English language and colloquialisms? My mother is a logophile and it drives her absolutely bonkers that my father insists on saying things like "brass tactics" instead of brass tacks and "for all intensive purposes" instead of for all intents and purposes. It may drive her bonkers, but it absolutely tickles me. 

I'm just all over the board today, aren't I? I do really want to tell you all about my conference because it was absolutely fascinating, so I'm serious now, here we go. As most of you know, I'm a Resident Director at a private Christian liberal arts university in the Northwest. This past week, I had the opportunity to attend a conference specifically for the residential life professionals at our sister schools. Over 50 of us gathered at Point Loma to learn, worship, and grow together as continue to navigate our positions.  The speaker that they brought in for the conference is an authority in the area of emerging adults (18-29 year olds). He lectured on that age group and their college experience, presence in the church, and what they are looking for in life. I think sometimes I feel so disconnected from that specific age group although I'm still in it. I am in a position of authority over 18-20 year olds, yet a lot of my struggles, questions, and growth is similar to theirs.  After the lectures, we had the opportunity to gather in smaller family groups where we connected with the staff from other universities. I so appreciated the time to compare notes, verbally process the lectures, and exchange information. Our schools are all over the country, but so much of what we're doing is the same. We shared a lot of stories and it gave me a lot of peace to know that the issues I dealt with this year weren't entirely original. It's nice knowing that someone else out there can relate to your situation. 

I sometimes feel like people have a difficult time understanding what I do. My sister in law thinks I'm an RA and my grandmother is very concerned about me because I'm pretty sure she thinks that I'm unemployed. Sometimes when I try to explain that although I'm technically paid for 40 hours of work a week, my job is really 24/7, people can't grasp that. They have a difficult time understanding what that looks like. It was refreshing to be with a group of people who understand that entirely, who struggle with knowing when to shut their doors and turn their phones off, and who can identify with being a parent/older sibling/pastor/cop/counselor/etc to a 100+ students. 

I've heard that we might attend this conference every other year. I wish it was every year because I feel like I met so many wonderful people and it'd be a shame to not see them for a long time. I'm hopeful that the next university to hold is our sister school in Boston or Nashville. I could get behind a trip to either of those locations, for sure.  Has anyone ever attended a conference for work or pleasure that they would absolutely recommend? 

nostalgia is a four letter word

I've been weepy recently. I know, what else is new, right? My thoughts have been drifting towards Korea a lot. First it was the absolutely horrific ferry accident that rocked the country several weeks ago. Then I was distracted by the pictures from those who are living the life I lived over there for more than eleven months. Some I know, some I've never met. But I feel a connection to them. We've walked the same streets, taught the same children, lived in the same apartments, yet the people over there (with the exception of several) have no idea who I am, though I feel as though they are kindred spirits. I'm slightly jealous of them. They're doing the things I did and falling in love with a place that I'm in love with. Their present is my past, but that means nothing to them. It's hard to not look at that experience through rose colored glasses. Sometimes I wish I could just teleport myself back to soak up some of those experiences again. The truth is that if I were to magically arrive there, it would be entirely different. There would be no Cameron & Lisa, no Kait & Doug, no Thomas & Bethany, no Seo Kyung Hwa, and no Shim Hyun Seok. My life over there wouldn't really exist like it did in 2011 and 2012. The people that made that place home aren't there anymore, they're back in America. 

Sometimes my mind drifts back to that place and those people, our experiences that are so precious simply because we shared them. I think of how terrified I was when I went to LAX, knowing full well that I was saying goodbye to my family for a while. There was no "see you soon," it was "see you in a year." I remember hugging my dad out at the car. He couldn't come in to the airport with us. He said it's so we wouldn't have to park the car and he could just drive it around, but I think it's because he is emotional and he knows he would have shown it. I think of hugging my mom and sisters that one last time before leaving to go through security. I remember being in line, turning around to get one last look and seeing my mom waving frantically, with tears rolling down her face. I quickly turned around before all of my courage left me. I wanted to be strong and brave, but really, I felt like a little girl going on an adventure far too big.  I remember spending my first weekend holed up in my teeny, tiny room. I ate McDonalds and watched endless hours of Friday Night Lights. We all cope in our own way. I then remember meeting Cameron and Lisa. They invited me to go to Costco with them and showed me where the best place was to do laundry. I was grateful to be included in something. We instantly connected over shared taste in books, music, and television shows. We swapped quotes from The Office. Life started to feel normal right around that moment. I felt slightly settled. It's funny how a little bit of comfort can go a long way when you're so far from anything you know. They introduced me to Doug & Kait. We formed a little family. It was the five of us. There were others, of course, that we would spend time with, but at the end of the day- they were the ones who I spent most of my time with. 

I think of the weather changing and how when it became cooler, my heart followed suit. I experienced the second wave of homesickness that I thought I'd be immune from. Thanksgiving was hard. I tried my hardest to be thankful, but in reality, I just wanted to be back at home. Slowly but surely, I began to feel okay again. It took a while. I remember a lot of tears. I remember feeling guilty that I wasn't thankful for the experience. I remember walking home from Seo Kyung Hwa's apartment after she had brought me home from school and I made myself vocalize my thanks the entire way home. Some of them were big and important thanks and others were small, like my thankfulness for endless colors of nail polish that were less than a dollar at Etude House which was conveniently located just steps from my apartment. I remember when Thomas and Bethany arrived. We connected over coffee and board games at the coffee shop by our homes. They were such a seamless addition to our little family. Sometimes I think about the nights we spent at Baby Bar. None of us actually know what it was named, but we called it Baby Bar because there were weird baby dolls all over it. We loved that place though and I spent far too much money on their large glasses of house wine that turned out to be Carlo Rossi. They served this weird little crackers and whipped cream. It sounds like an odd combination, and it definitely was, but we ate it up because that's just what we did.  One of the things I yearn for most when I think about that experience is the simplicity of it all. I walked to and from the school I worked at. I didn't know my students names but that was okay because they wanted me to call them things like "Mario" and "Harry Potter" instead. I ate simply and enjoyed my routine of running after work or walking to the gym on the street corner where a Korean friend helped me negotiate a membership. I would always see Shim Hyun Seok there. He was a blessing. He worked at the same school as I did and managed to always end up in my office at the end of the day to chat or watch silly Youtube videos. We still keep in touch, but it's not the same. I miss those moments we spent together. 

I was so ready to leave Korea that sometimes I think I didn't fully grasp how wonderful it was until I had been back in the states several months. I know that I romanticize things, so it should be noted that not all of my experiences in Korea were lovely. Some were hard, some were very trying, and others were down right discouraging. I was ready to come back and now I have a job that I could have only dreamed of having, but sometimes I think to myself what life would look like if I went back. It wouldn't be the same, it wouldn't be nearly as wonderful. I think we got lucky when we discovered each other over in that city halfway around the world. I can't fathom having those experiences with anyone else.  I sometimes fear that I'm doing the same thing to my job now that I did to my time in Korea. I'm not soaking it up and being entirely present. I have this problem of getting too concerned with what's next. I have trouble setting down my anchor and letting myself just be. I'm fearful of looking back on this time, this truly wonderful time and realizing I didn't savor it enough. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it can be a real beezy. Maybe I'm just overcome with sappiness because I'm getting ready to say goodbye to the girls that I've spent the last nine months with. Whatever the reason, it's interesting to think that so much of my hear resides over the ocean, without a home. I reallythink when you exist for so long in one place, there's a part of you that will always remain there. 

seattle

This past weekend I took a lovely little getaway to Seattle to visit my brother and some friends. Seattle is one of my favorite places. It's always wonderfully gloomy and there's something about being near water that my makes my heart so happy.  I ended up needing this little trip more than I ever could have imagined. It was so refreshing to spend time with some dear friends and just recharge. I felt completely restored by the end of the weekend and was completely ready to come back to Idaho and finish the semester like a champ.

My first stop was to meet up with my oldest brother Nicolas at the restaurant where he is a chef. We had planned to meet up for dinner and he definitely spoiled me. We started off with some homemade donut holes, moved on to the "ultimate grilled cheese" (brie, cheddar, & fried chicken on brioche toast with a side of poutine), and then split a pork chop. I consumed so much food. SO MUCH FOOD. 

One of my favorite things about the Pacific Northwest are all of the beautiful trees. I love the evergreen trees mixed in with the colorful fall leaves. I am not sure how to describe how it makes me feel, aside from the fact that it just warms my heart. 

There is something so special about people who know you and know you well. I was able to just exist this weekend. I didn't have to facilitate anything, be "on," or entertain anyone. I just got to be me and just got to rest. There was nothing overly incredible about the weekend, but it was my favorite because it was everything I needed in order to recharge. There's something so good for the soul in being surrounded by people who just love you, warts and all. 

I sort of hate that saying because I don't want you guys to think I have warts. I don't have ACTUAL warts, just personality warts or whatever they mean in that quote. 

salt city

I am intentionally leaving the "lake" out of Salt Lake City because I was there for a whole twenty four hours and never even saw it, so I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist. What a sham! If it's such a great lake, wouldn't it be visible from anywhere in the city? Oh Salt City, I'm on to you.
Aside from Salt City losing their lake, the mini getaway to Utah was absolutely perfect. With the freshman off to a retreat for the weekend, I knew I had to take this opportunity to get out of town, relax, and spend some quality time with my best gal. We started devising this plan a couple of months ago when we realized that we both desperately needed to make trips to Ikea. Unfortunately, Idaho is void of an Ikea so that left us with Seattle, Portland, and Salt Lake City (Okay, so maybe we just missed the lake...) as options for a quick shopping trip. Lacey and I, being the frugal babes we are, made a big list of what our trip would cost at each destination. After doing our calculations, it appeared as though Salt Lake would be our cheapest (and closest!) destination so we decided to Hotwire a hotel. 
Sidenote- have you ever done that before? I did that for a trip to NYC a couple of years ago and it turned out perfectly, but for some reason, I was super nervous this time! We ended up getting a lovely hotel right in the downtown area that put us just minutes away from everything we wanted to see. Way to go Hotwire!
As soon as Laceface and I arrived in SLC, we checked into our hotel, changed, and ventured to Temple Square. Temple Square is a ten acre area downtown that houses the temple, monuments, statues, a visitor center, and tons of beautiful flowers. While Lacey and I aren't Mormon, we were excited the temple and explore the grounds after being stuck in the car for five hours. 

The temple was beautiful and the way that the light was shining through the clouds made it feel all sorts of dreamy. I attempted a jumping picture (I seriously love them- no shame) and failed so hard that it was just perfect. The number one rule of jumping pictures is you can't try them again. You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow, this opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo. 

We explored City Creek Mall which may be my new favorite shopping destination EVER. They have everything. E V E R Y T H I N G. West Elm? Check. Anthro? Duh. Lush? You betchya. Nordies? You fool, you really think that they wouldn't have Nordies? OF COURSE THEY HAVE NORDIES. I may have indulged a little bit at Lush and picked up some bath goodies. There's nothing like spoiling yourself and I'm pretty sure one of the best ways to do that is putting your laptop on your toilet seat, turning on 30 Rock, and taking a hot bath. I can't wait to add those Lush treats to my bath and feel extra spoiled.

The next day, Lace and I got down to business. It was time to conquer Ikea. I came prepared with a list printed from the website complete with aisle & bin information so that I would make the most of my short time in that Swedish warehouse. Three hours, a dollar amount that I won't divulge for fear of my father reading this, and a plate of Swedish meatballs later, it was finished. I had everything I came for, with a few added extras. That's just a given though. You can't go to Ikea and not pick up something that you never knew you needed. It's science, you wouldn't understand. 

 As I sit amongst a pile of boxes with my morning cup of coffee, I'm beginning to realize that I have the longest, most frustrating day ahead of me putting together all of this stuff. I have a screwdriver. Do I need much more than that? While you all rest today, I will labor. I will labor and as God as my witness, I will have a house full of furniture by the end of the day.