the battle for satisfied singleness

This post has been on my heart for quite a while. In the last couple days, my desire to write all of these thoughts down has been amplified, specifically due to reading this article and conversations with friends.  I am single. I am 24 years old and rapidly approaching my 25th birthday. There are no "prospects" nor is their anyone that I'm interested in being pursued by. THAT IS OK.  Most of my friends are married or in relationships.  That is okay too. We are different. They are not better, nor am I better. Our situations are different. I think it is especially difficult to be single and "satisfied" in Christian communities. I wouldn't say I feel pressured, but I get asked about boys, relationships, and timelines quite a bit. My family, God bless their hearts, seem perplexed as to why I am not in a relationship. I feel like any time there is an extended family get together, the questions begin to pour in and I start to feel self conscious of the fact that I'm single.  I love the fact that I am so loved by my family and friends that they seem perplexed as to why no one has "snatched me up." That's very sweet of them to think so highly of me, but maybe I am not ready to be "snatched up." Don't get me wrong, I love the institution of marriage. I believe in it, oh boy do I believe in it! I have had great examples shown to me of marriage, love, and sacrifice. I want to get married. It is one of the deepest desires of my heart, but I do not, in any way shape or form, feel ready to date let alone be married.  I think back to the last couple years and the things I've done, and how they wouldn't have been possible or would have been incredibly difficult to manage in a relationship or as a married woman. I was able to choose whatever college I wanted to attend, so I chose a college in Idaho. I fell in love with Idaho. After graduation I was able to move abroad for a year and teach English in Korea. When my time was up there, I was able to decide to move back to Idaho and begin pursuing a Master's. These are decisions I was able to make for myself without taking anyone else into consideration.  I don't want to seem like I am painting a picture of being this single woman who never, ever wants to be part of a partnership. That's not my intention and it's definitely not reflective of my heart. I can't wait to be a wife and a mother. I love taking care of people, I have known my entire life that ultimately, I want to be a wife and a mother. I know that about myself, but I just don't know the timeline. I could write this entry, hit publish, and meet the man of my dreams today or I could still be single years from now. Both of these are okay. I'm okay. I'm okay not being in a relationship. I am so satisfied where life is right now and I am tired of feeling like I'm not allowed to be satisfied with being single or that my life would be more complete if I were in a relationship. I love my friends that are married, I love them individually and I love them as part of a union. Do I want that eventually? You bet your bottom dollar! Do I want that right now? No gracias.
I whole heartedly believe that there is a season for everything and that our seasons do not always occur simultaneously. This is my season of singleness. This is my season to travel the world, cultivate friendships, go to school, and invest in the wonderful community I am part of. There will come an end to specific things in this season, but their end will make it possible for a new season full of new adventures to enter.  I am so glad I got that off my chest.